December 2011
45 posts
The Other Guys
Terry Hoitz: No, I don't like you. I think you're a fake cop. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If you were in the wild, I would attack you, even if you weren't in my food chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you and then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
Allen Gamble: OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean. Lions don't like water. If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that make sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated and said 'You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some more lion'. We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.
Terry Hoitz: How you gonna do that?
Allen Gamble: We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. An hour? Hour forty-five? No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get some more oxygen, and stalk you. You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and out-manned...
Allen Gamble: Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? Nope.
LMFAOOO!!!
5 tags
Best moments in class.
ikiddodrea:
When a teacher is yelling at a student and the student yells back.
You’re like
When the teacher says “if you finish you can listen to your iPod.”
When our teacher moves your crush beside you.
When your teacher lets you eat.
When your classmates starts joking each other.
When a hot guy gets switched to your class.
WHEN YOU GET TO GET OUT OF A BORING CLASS BECAUSE...
11 tags
16 tags
something i wrote this week..
I’ll always remember my past but I will prepare for what’s ahead of me Because its not about where I’ve been, but where I’m gonna be And its a scary thought, not knowing what’s in store Like the only thing you have with you is imagination galore And I can’t even fathom what’s coming up ahead Maybe an office in the city, a...
So i’m writing a paper on the revolution of technology and came across an awesome quote by Steve Jobs. Revolutionary indeed. Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but...
“Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair.”
– unknown (via joanied)
“For a few to be immortal, many must die. (…) Everyone can’t live forever, where...”
8 tags
6 tags
I don’t think it matters how tough we are. Trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives. Trauma messes everybody up, but maybe thats the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap…maybe going through all that is what keeps us moving forward. It’s what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up before we can get up.
29 tags
A Kosher Situation
Something i wrote around the end of September after listening to Immortal Technique’s “The Martyr”..hope ya enjoy & give me some feedback
Go ahead Don't take me into consideration nor fathom my mental incarceration Comprised of utter chaos seeping from my mind A delicate articulation A kosher situation I mean, Yeh sure, Ill unwind Ill take my time But in the end your...
6 tags
9 tags
Jus a thought after digging my face in some government articles.
There really is an amazing difference between fear and being alarmed. The difference is simple and often, it is overlooked. Fear forces you to pull the sheets over your head and just ignore the problem, regardless if it’s cuz you’re just too scared or just don’t want to bother fixing it. But alarm wakes you the fck...
“Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the...”
– Helen Keller (via paradiseinperil)
Body cells replace themselves every month. Even at this very moment. Most everything you think you know about me is nothing more than memories.”
— Haruki Murakami
7 tags
3 tags
9 tags
Wanna know what's hard to do? To not blame anyone or yourself when things in your life go wrong and just know that bad things happen to good ppl cuz they are the only ones strong enough to deal with them. To know that you dont have bad luck and not feel pity for yourself. To know that it can happen 10 times and you'll just find the good in it. To not let the hurt blind you and turn u into a bitter...
The look you give your friend when they say...
thatfunnyblog:
http://thatfunnyblog.tumblr.com/
When I go out looking like crap and I see someone...
wowfunniestposts:
FOLLOW Wow Funniest Posts
LMFAOOO “Oh shiiihh! I gotta go home and put some pants”
